When is it time to let go?
Many people find it hard to know when to let go of a failing relationship. However, there comes a time in most people's lives when they need to stop expecting problems to dissipate and accept that a relationship is no longer working.
However, when embroiled in relationship issues, it's often hard to see the wood for the trees. That's why we've put some guidelines together to help you decipher whether it's time to move on to new dating pastures.
Opening the channels of communication
Relationships are based on effective communication because the key to dealing with any hurdle is communication. You and your partner need to establish a loving environment within which you can both air any worries or problems. This receptive atmosphere needs constant nurturing because problems often arise when one party is not privy to the other person's feelings. This in turn can lead to confusion and arguments through lack of understanding. When the lines of communication start to break down; it's time to work at re-building them rather than immediately giving up on the relationship. This can be hard, especially if your partner refuses to let you in. However, with patience and loving reassurance, the lines of communication can be re-opened. Seeking professional help is always advisable in serious cases such as if your partner has suffered a breakdown or a life crisis.
When he/she stops caring
If your partner doesn't seem to care about you and acts selfishly instead of listening to you and taking your feelings into account, it may be time to leave the relationship depending on the reasons for such indifference. For example, if your partner has been badly let down by a previous partner, he/she could behave in this way to maintain emotional distance because they don't want to be hurt again. In this case, time and love could disprove his/her doubts and enhance their feelings towards you. However, it's important to respect yourself in your relationship, and if the emotional indifference persists, it's time to talk it through with your partner. If they ignore your feelings it's probably time to move on as they may need to sort out their own problems before embarking on a relationship, or it could be the case that you're simply not right for each other.
When your health suffers
If your health is beginning to seriously suffer as a result of your relationship problems, take a long hard look at what's going on. While it's important for you to provide your partner with all the love and support they need, this doesn't mean that this should be given to the detriment of your own health. Difficult times will always be emotionally draining, but if you let yourself get run into the ground, you won't be of any use to either yourself or your partner.
When he/she is unfaithful
The topic of infidelity is hard to generalise because, while many people say that they would never give an unfaithful partner a second chance, when they find themselves in the situation, their opinion changes. This is because infidelity is rarely cut-and-dry. After falling in love and sharing your life, it's hard to contemplate the eventuality of not having your partner around anymore. That's one of the reasons many people who've suffered at the hands of an unfaithful partner, choose to continue with the relationship. Unfortunately, another of the main reasons for staying is lack of confidence, i.e. we think that no one else would find us attractive/want to be with us. Of course there is always a myriad of other factors to be considered. The main thing to remember is never to be ashamed of seeking professional help. The key to determining whether you need to put an end to the relationship is whether, after considering all of the factors contributing to the affair, you feel that there's a possibility of you being able to recapture the love you felt towards your partner and rebuild the trust.
When you've both changed
It is natural for people to change over time. For most couples, these changes become shared experiences that occur gradually over time. However, sometimes, personal changes can push two people apart, particularly when the changes are sudden and drastic. Similarly, when two people are pulling in different directions (i.e. one in favour of change, the other adverse to it), this can put incredible strain on a relationship. If you ever find that you and your partner have changed dramatically so that you no longer feel the same way towards one another, this is often the point where you need to reassess your compatibility. Remember that it's not a sign of failure if you admit that you're both no longer right for one another.
When you've lost your identity
As your relationship progresses, it is common to spend an increasing amount of time with your partner doing things which you both enjoy. You might find that you spend less time with your friends and less time pursuing the hobbies which you always used to do. While it's healthy to spend time with your partner, it's also important not to lose sight of who you are and what you enjoy doing. If you sacrifice a lot of the aspects of your life which make you who you are, you'll start feeling resentful towards your partner. If your partner puts unreasonable demands on your time and expects you to make a lot of sacrifices, make sure you talk things through so that you're both happy with how you both spend your time.
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