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1: The Serial Online Dater

There's a type of person for whom dating is all about the thrill of the chase. That person is called a man, and online dating is his playground. Here, he can savour the buzz of a new pull as often as he wants. He'll chase you, he'll be overwhelmed by your allure - until the next wide-eyed hottie lands in his inbox. Ladies, meet the online dating addict.

Okay, so not all men behave in this way, and certainly not all online dating addicts are men. Most men online are genuinely on the hunt for a lasting relationship, and won't have their heads turned by another woman just because she's there. But in theory and in practice, men are far more likely than women to be tickled by the novelty of the new. With more and more women posting their profiles every day, many blokes regard online dating as a bottomless pit of fun.

Why to avoid him:

The serial online later (let's call him the SOD) is at heart a romantic, so he'll be dramatically keen on you for the first couple of weeks. Then he'll realise that you're a real person, with loo roll in the bathroom and a morning face that probably wouldn't pass muster in Vogue, and his romantic ideal is shattered. So he drops you in favour of some other online hottie. It's awesomely hurtful and will leave you wondering what you've done wrong - but if it's any consolation, he'll dump her in a couple of weeks, too.

SODs are also commitment-phobes. The more you like him, the less he'll like you. It's an exact inverse relationship, and it sucks - not least because it forces you to start playing manipulative games that leave you high, dry and emotionally exhausted. If he's only interested while you're playing hard to get, he's not worth the effort.

How to spot him:

If you've been using a site for a while, you'll notice that certain guys seem to be online every time you are. Their profiles are very popular and their photos suggest they wouldn't be kicked out of bed, so why don't they seem to have pulled after three months on the site? Because they can't get enough, that's why.

The SOD is not a picky creature. Thanks to his romantic nature, he falls head over heels daily for the newest bird on the cyber-block, whether she's 25 or 45, blonde or brunette, Angelina Jolie or Ann Widdecombe. So his profile won't specify too many narrow tick-boxes when it comes to his ideal date. This guy wants to leave his options wide open.

SODs also tend to want to meet up very quickly, rather than engage in too much email tennis. Meeting up quickly can be a good move, because you can tell more about your chemistry and compatibility in five minutes of face-to-face chat than you can in five weeks of lengthy emails. So don't necessarily write off an eager meeter as a SOD, but it's another clue to look out for.

Once you're a few dates down the line, you'll probably want to delete your profile - after all, you're in a relationship now, and it's the respectful thing to do. SOD won't see it this way. If your apparently devoted new man goes pale when you mention that you've taken your profile down, chances are he's a certified commitment-phobe, and he'll be running back to check his dating inbox before you can say 'Can I have my subs money back please?'.

2: The Handsome Devil

You just want a man who's witty, kind and good at the washing up, right? Yeah right. In practice, you log on and whizz through the thumbnail photos until you spot one you fancy. I know, I can see you.

It's understandable. We're all shallow people, and that's no bad thing. Getting hooked up with a kind soul whom you don't actually fancy is all very well if you're a 75-year-old widow looking for companionship; it's not so wise if you're a 30-something lass who needs to get her rocks off now and then with someone who fires her belly (and other regions). You have to fancy the one you're with, otherwise it's, well, friendship.

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However, there's a limit. Don't date a man who's too good looking. Science says that 0.001% of women currently dating a man prettier than they are have sex for four hours every night and are walking around with smiles so big they're visible from space. The other 99.999% end up watching their backs so often that they keep walking into lamp-posts, and that's not a good look.

Why to avoid him:

The novelty of pulling a heart-throb will last for approximately four minutes until you realise that standing next to him makes you look ropey. When Claudia Schiffer went out with mungbean magician David Copperfield, everyone thought she was daft - but Claudia knew what she was doing. Next to Dave, she looked even more gorgeous than before. Dave, on the other hand, had to put up with everyone going on about how ugly he was. It's all relative.

The other problem with dating someone who's better-looking than you is that you're going to end up feeling insecure and emotionally volatile. You know very well that he can pull anything he wants, and chances are he's not going to resist temptation forever. Unless you're so hot in the sack and adept in the kitchen that no man would ever dump you, you're cruising for a bruising.

How to spot him:

Easy. His profile photo is prettier than yours.

3: The Married Man

Dating websites aren't exactly the adulterous knocking shops that some believe them to be. However, online - just as in any bar or supermarket check-out queue - you're bound to find men in search of some extra-marital pulling.

Why to avoid him:

Perhaps you're excited by the idea of an illicit liaison with someone who'll leave after sex (hurrah, no snoring) and won't make you do his laundry, but the disadvantages of sleeping with a married man outweigh the advantages in the way that Jupiter outweighs Kylie.

So many people can be hurt here, not least yourself. 'Oh it's just sex,' you say - no it isn't, not when your emotions start to kick in and you find yourself falling for someone who's not available. Incidentally, show some sisterhood: you're not just putting your own emotions on the line but messing with another woman's life, and possibly her kids' lives too. And even if his marriage does fall apart, the chances of him skipping off into the sunset with you are roughly zero.

But you knew all that already, didn't you?

How to spot him:

A married man will rarely include a photo with his online profile. If he does, he is even more stupid than I thought, and deserves all that's coming to him. He won't give away much about himself, and he'll probably want to meet up quickly rather than get caught up in a three-week email bonding session. Why? First, he's not really in it for the bonding (not of minds, in any case), and secondly, those emails could incriminate him. He just wants to scratch his itch as quickly as he can.

If you start dating someone and he'll only see you at odd times - perhaps a bit of Wednesday afternoon delight or a weekday evening rendezvous, but never at the weekend - it's likely that he has more pressing commitments. Like a wife and two kids.

Incidentally, there's another type of married man to avoid: the one who might as well be married. This man is The Convalescent. He might be separated, divorced or single for the last six years, but one thing's for sure - he still thinks about his ex first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and he'll never stop hoping for a reconciliation.

Don't reject separated or divorced men because you think they'll fall into this category; chances are they don't. Ending a marriage takes a lot more gumption than ending a non-marital relationship, so chances are they've been getting over it for yonks. There really is no easy way to spot The Convalescent until he whimpers his ex's name during sex. In which case, I feel your pain.