AOL

Petty, tight fisted, self opinionated, unforgiving, cold hearted, cruel and negative - not exactly Snow White and the seven dwarves is it? Your dark pantomime of shortcomings is known by everyone around you, which only annoys you more.

Preserving your social status is paramount and you can't stand being teased or made to look a fool of in front of others. That pessimistic, miserly streak of yours also means you can't take a joke, no matter how good you are at dishing them out. You invest vast amounts of time and energy in presenting a sober and conventional front to the world, while all the time working on a plan so deviant only a fellow Capricorn could guess at it.

Dating and relationships
You prefer a safe bet so will only ask someone out if you are a hundred per cent sure they will say yes. A safe, socially acceptable, romantic meal for two is the order of the day, as long as your date pays for their half. Now, who had the rice?

You are in favour of marriage; after all, it's the most respectable social institution out there. You don't like spending too much of your valuable time on your partner. Instead, you prefer hanging around car showrooms and furniture stores, buying up whatever you think will impress the neighbours most.

At work
Your boss probably hired you for your authoritative manner and sober dress sense, either that or you blackmailed him to get the role. You demand respect and usually get it. You are ruthlessly ambitious and will stop at nothing to get to the top, no matter who you tread on to get there. Of course, you go to great lengths to hide your unseemly ambition, though it's obvious from the bloodstained steps how you climbed the corporate ladder.

You're not the type to hog the limelight and prefer being second in command. That way you can make all the real decisions and act the puppet master without actually having to take the flack if things go wrong. Your workmates are wary of you, they know you're up to something but can never quite figure out what.