I'm four months pregnant by a much younger man - he's 23 and still lives with his parents. He insists he's too young to commit, so in the end I gave up on him and prepared to go it alone. But then he announced he wanted us to tell his parents about the pregnancy together. His Mum got angry with me when she heard the news, which really hurt - so I haven't spoken to them since. But now I'm wondering if I should try and build bridges with his family for the baby's sake?

Susan advises

There's a lot of strong emotion flying about here - pregnancy was the last thing any of you wanted. So you're upset that your ex didn't stand by you. He's scared stiff of the responsibility of fatherhood. His parents are worried about him - and are taking out their worry on you by getting angry. I can understand why tempers are flying.

But you're right to think of calming things down. It will be great for the baby to have an active Dad and a set of grandparents. It will help you to keep that contact. Plus, I suspect that the baby's arrival will heal all sorts of wounds and his Mum in particular will be won over.

I also suspect that your ex is having mixed feelings here. Yes through sheer panic he backed off when he heard the news - but the fact he wanted to tell his parents means that some part of him is proud of your condition. So it could be that he's stepping up to his responsibilities more than he originally appeared to.

No, I wouldn't rely on him for support; you will probably have to go this alone. But I don't think you can lose - and I think it would be a good idea all round - to build bridges.