AOL

I recently plucked up courage to tell a friend that I liked him. I didn't know he was already in a relationship, but it was going wrong anyway, so he ended it. Problem is, though we're madly in love, his Mum has now said he needs time on his own to recover, so we haven't really got together until she gives the green light. His Mum and I are close, so it isn't that she doesn't like me - but I'm still scared that if I wait for him, he'll decide he wants someone else.

Susan advises

Here's the good news. Your friend's Mum is quite right to suggest he takes a break in between girlfriends. He needs time to recover, to decide who he is and what he wants. If he doesn't, and rushes into a relationship with you, he'll still be hooked into his last relationship and your love will fade anyway. If he does take his time, then when you and he get together, he'll be much more able to make a go of it.

So on one level, I'd be very grateful to Mum - she's almost certainly not only doing the best for her son but also the best for you.

But here's the bad news. A man who meekly follows his Mum's advice in the way your man is doing is probably mature - he simply doesn't think for himself. So even if you do get together with him, you may find him not only doing what his Mum wants rather than what he or you wants, but also acting in very juvenile ways, and relying on you to mother him.

In short, however much you care for this guy, don't rush into a relationship with him. Because firstly, he's not ready to love you yet. And secondly, he may not ever be mature enough to do so.