My boyfriend and I work together, so at first we kept our relationship secret. But now we've been going out eighteen months I really want to 'go public' - and he won't. If people make jokes about us, he lies and laughs it off, and I have to fib about weekend plans. He hates being gossiped about and we do both have exs in the company, so it might be a bit awkward - but surely we've been together long enough now to cope?

Susan advises
I do understand that work relationships are tricky - and that at the start, neither you nor your man wanted to be open about it all, in case it didn't work out. But after eighteen months, I agree - you should be able to go public, knowing that you have a strong relationship that's going to last.

So why doesn't your boyfriend see it that way? What are his fears about the situation? What does he think will happen if everyone knows? You need to talk this one through, with sympathy and understanding, to get to the bottom of his worries.

A warning though. There's a very slight chance that at the bottom of his worries is not wariness about work, but wariness about love - that he's holding back from going public because he has doubts about your relationship. But if he has, then it's best to face them - after eighteen months you deserve to be open and honest not only with your colleagues, but also with each other.