For the past two years I've been trying for a baby - but no luck. I've had tests and there's nothing physically wrong- that feels worse in a way as it must be psychological. I've tried all the advice about 'not thinking about it' and distracting myself, but I just get increasingly frustrated. All my friends have kids and even my husband has a child from a previous relationship, so no one understands how I feel. Do I just give up all hope I'll ever be a mother?

Susan advises
Actually, giving up all hope might be one of the best things you can do. I don't mean 'give up all hope' as in 'spend the rest of your life feeling desperate and unfulfilled', but 'give up all hope as in 'get a life outside pregnancy testing.'

Start putting effort into your job, getting back in touch with your friends, taking care of your appearance and all the other things that will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself. In particular, start falling back in love with your husband, who for the past two years has probably felt more like a sperm bank than an adored spouse.

The advice you're finding it so hard to take - to not dwell on the problem - is based on sound psychological principles. If you and your husband are stressed, tense, feeling down, thinking badly of yourselves and about the relationship, then mysteriously, even if there's nothing wrong physically, you may simply not get pregnant.

Start enjoying life and falling back in love with each other and your immune system will bounce back and you'll have a much better chance of making a baby!