For the last six months I've been having an affair with someone at work. It's purely a physical thing, but I feel so guilty for cheating on my boyfriend. He's a good man and I know he'd never do anything like this to me - it would break his heart if he knew what was going on. I do love my boyfriend, so part of me wants to tell him the truth and beg forgiveness - would that be the right thing to do?

Susan advises
Before you decide whether to tell your boyfriend what's been going on, you need to find out for yourself what's been going on. Because it's really not credible that you've had an affair for a whole six months, knowing that you are betraying your boyfriend every time, and yet it's still "purely a physical thing" and not about your emotions. (I also don't get from your letter that you've ended your affair - if you really are that remorseful, that's the first thing to do.)

So what do you feel? You say you love your man, but still you gave in to temptation. So is it that you don't love him enough to be faithful? Or that you love him but feel trapped? Or love him but feel he doesn't love you?

Something has broken down the bond between you enough that you're able to have sex with someone else. Find out what that is and you'll be a lot clearer about things - and a lot more able to decide whether you need to have a heart-to-heart with your man and change the relationship, put all this in the past and carry on - or walk away.