My husband is a good, kind, hard-working man and we rarely argue - but for the past year we've had no sex at all, and it was only once a year before that! Whenever I try to broach the subject, he just says 'sorry' and then goes off and sulks. It's got to the point where I've started looking at other men as potential lovers - though I really don't want to be unfaithful. So should I, at my time of life - I'm 56 - just be grateful and count my blessings?

Susan advises

I don't think your decision here hinges on your age. At 56 you have a right to still want and expect a good sex life - and many women of your age have exactly that.

I do think that your decision hinges on what is happening in your marriage in general. Because if everything else in a marriage is fine, then couples can deprioritise sex - and can live with that, often very happily. But I'm that everything else in your marriage is actually fine. A couple who live happily without sex do so because they have talked through the issues, explored their individual attitudes and come to a conclusion that - while not perfect - is mutual. You and your husband haven't done that. You request. He sulks. Nothing happens. That's not a mutual decision.

So take your focus off the sex for a moment, and onto the relationship. Talk through together what's happening for each of you and for the two of you as a partnership. Get some counselling to help you work things out. If you can get your relationship back on track, then the sex may well follow.