A few years ago I separated from my husband, so I now live with my three teenage children. Recently, a male friend of mine asked me out on a date. I'd love to accept - but he's 20 and I'm 34! He's only six years older than my eldest child, so I'm scared my children won't be happy about it. Should I ask them first, or just see how it goes?

Susan advises
Your question is about the age gap here. But my guess is that what you're really asking is whether it's Ok to start dating again? Will you be letting your children down? Will they approve?

The answers to those questions depend very much on how you present all this. Keep in mind, for a start, that this is a date you're talking about, not a lifelong commitment. Given the age of your young suitor, the reality is that you probably won't be together long term. So handle this with a light touch.

In short, I wouldn't ask your children for 'permission' - that's not only unnecessary, it also gives them the message that this is serious, a big deal. I would explain that you'd find it fun to go out on a date, then ask them for advice and support to make that date work. What should you wear? Where should you go? Get them enrolled in your having fun.

Bottom line, enjoy. You are attracted by this man and you are also flattered by the fact that at 20, he is attracted to you. It's all a great ego boost, just what you need right now. My guess is that your children know that better than you do, and will be delighted that you're finally starting to bounce back after your separation.