Two years ago my husband left me for another woman. He'd had a long affair, so I was devastated. But then last year, I started dating someone new. He's loving and thoughtful - and was wonderful when I had to go into hospital. Problem is, I know I don't feel as strongly for him as I did for my husband, so I'm worried that the relationship is doomed long-term. I do care for him a lot, so I don't want him to get hurt.

Susan advises
Regular readers of this column will know that I usually warn against rushing into things too quickly after a breakup - one often chooses unwisely or can't sustain a relationship because you're still grieving for lost love. But in your case, it seems you've taken your time and made a wise choice of a caring partner.

So what's the problem? It could be that you're still grieving for your husband. But it could be that you're expecting, first time out, to have a fully fledged long-term committed relationship, whereas this is actually a transitional relationship, one where you have fun, get your confidence back and relearn how to trust, to love and to be loved.

I certainly would warn your new man that you're not ready for something long term - to do otherwise would be dishonest and would set him up for a fall. But I wouldn't run away simply because right now you feel this will only be short term - both you and he could gain a lot from loving each other even if only for a while. And who knows, with time and recovery from your divorce, you could find that it becomes deeper and more long-lasting than you think!