On Christmas Day I got engaged - I was so happy and excited, and secretly quite pleased to be in the limelight for once. But then, recently - in fact, on my birthday - my sister announced she was getting married too. She’s already had loads of attention, as she’s only just had her second child, so I don’t understand why she can’t just let me have my moment.

Susan advises
What your sister is doing may be unkind, but it’s not unusual. Quite simply, she’s indulging in sibling rivalry. Brothers and sisters very often can’t bear to see each other doing well - it makes them feel bad about themselves. This is what’s happening for your sister; your taking the limelight has made her low, so she’s upstaging you.

Two possible ways forward on this one. If you suspect that your sister doesn’t realise what she’s doing, and that if she did realise she’d back off, then have a word. Make it kind, make it supportive, but explain how upset you are. Then work out together how the two of you can arrange your respective weddings so as not to be in competition.

But if - as seems likely - you know that your sister won’t change her ways, then the solution is to refuse to play her game. Resist every temptation to turn it into a contest. Simply don’t try to compete or upstage. Instead concentrate on having the wedding you want, how you want, when you want without worrying about your sister.

The irony is that if you do that, then in the end you’ll have a much better time, because she’ll be constantly worrying about out doing you - and that, sadly, is likely to ruin her big day.