When I was eighteen, my childhood sweetheart joined the Army - and eventually the loneliness and distance split us up. But then, eighteen months ago, after fifteen years apart, we got back together. We’re both much stronger people now and every time we see each other it’s wonderful - but I’m finding it so hard to deal with the uncertainty and turmoil. He was supposed to be posted home in the summer, but I’ve just learned it’s not going to be until next year. I love him desperately but I feel I need more than this. Should we split?

Susan advises
There’s no simple answer here because you can argue this both ways. You can argue that if you still love each other after fifteen years apart, then you have something worth fighting for.

And I’d certainly start from this position. Is there no way you could meet up even just for a weekend? Can you have more contact through phone, email or text? Can you get support through the partners of your man’s colleagues - it’s amazing how much it can help talking to others in the same situation. Give things a go for a few months at least, to honour the fact that you obviously still love him.

On the other hand, you can argue that - having split up once because of the distance, and now once again finding the distance hard to deal with - you should simply accept that you’re not a natural Army “wife”. It is a hard life, and not for everyone. In which case, it is best to walk away before you both get too hurt - no one will blame you for that.