A few months ago, my boyfriend and his dog moved in with my children and I. Unfortunately, it really hasn’t worked out the way I hoped - I feel miserable and our relationship seems to be falling to pieces. The main problems are that he never cleans up after himself or the dog - he expects me to do everything - and doesn’t pay his way. I’ve tried suggesting that we live separately again, but he says that if he has to move out the relationship is over. I’m at my wit’s end.

Susan advises
Hold on a minute. Your man expects maid service. He doesn’t contribute to the household budget. And when asked to change he emotionally blackmails you. I understand you care for him, but I am struggling to see why. It doesn’t sound like a deal that is giving you any benefits - let alone love, care and nurturing.

I do know it’s hard to end a relationship - but this man seems to have all the cards in his hand simply because you are so scared of his leaving. You are, to be blunt, facing a future where he can call any shots he likes, knowing that you will knuckle under through fear of being abandoned. For your sake - and for that of your children, who must surely be suffering the fallout of all this - you have to challenge this now.

So summon all your strength. Start believing that you deserve a man who treats you as an equal. Then give your current partner one final chance to change - and if he doesn’t, don’t just insist you live separately, but actively end the relationship. Yes, you will mourn. Yes, you will feel lonely for a while. But remarkably quickly, you will realise just how good life is without this dead weight round your neck.