Although my partner earns double what I do, he still makes me pay exactly half of every bill and expense. He keeps a precise record of everything and then tells me what I owe him at the end of every month - it adds up to a small fortune. As I do all the household chores and help look after his kids too, I'm starting to feel very resentful of the arrangement. We still love each other very much, so how can we stop money from wrecking our relationship?

Susan advises

What your man is missing here is that the contributions that partners make to a relationship are not just about the money. They are about time, effort, work, suggestions, support - each of those is just as important as hard cash, each of those counts towards the total deal.

Your man is obviously a person who likes equal donations - his obsessive counting is probably down to him believing that unless everyone subs in similar amounts to a relationship, it isn't fair and there's something wrong.

So it might help to sit down with him and count up what each of you donates apart from the money: how much time you spend on joint projects, how much effort you put into running the house, what the level of support is that you offer each other.

My guess is that at that point, he'll be surprised at how different the sums look! And you'll both be amazed at how your donation to the partnership is just as substantial as his. After which, given that the two of you do love each other and do want to work this out, he should be willing to consider a different financial arrangement.