This year, for the first time, my partner's parents have invited me to their place for Christmas. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also really nervous. They're generally quite a formal family, so I'm scared they'll have lots of complicated traditions that I won't understand. I've tried asking my partner about it, but he claims they just a have a 'normal family Christmas'! How can I make sure I make a good impression?

Susan advises
The secret here, to be honest, is not to try to make a good impression - by the sound of it you'll simply get more and more tense. The key is to relax; your partner's family wouldn't have invited you if they didn't approve of you.

As to rituals, I'm sure that their Christmas won't be the same as the one you're used to - your partner only says that it's 'normal' because it's normal for him. But everyone will be aware that you're a new girl and won't expect you to know what's happening. Just ask questions when you feel confused.

Three further survival hints. The first is to steer clear of the alcohol - if you're nervous, the temptation might be to pour more than you should, and nothing goes down worse with a partner's parents than inebriation. The second hint is to be helpful; ask regularly if there's anything you can be doing, and be proactive about things like washing up.

My final hint is to keep close to your partner but not be clingy - his family will want to know that you care for each other, but will also want to know that you're making the effort to get to know them and to build your relationship with them.