Two years ago I terminated two unwanted pregnancies in the space of a year. I’m now very careful, but still terrified of becoming pregnant. In fact, it’s got to the point where I’m scared to get close to anyone because it seems such a risk. I hate the thought of people being disappointed in me again - my Mum often mentions my pregnancy and it makes me want to hide. How can I move on?

Susan advises
I’m not in the business of speaking out either for or against termination. Everyone has to make the best decision they can, and then live with the results of that decision as well as they can.

But I do think that if you have a termination, guilt tripping about it for years afterwards is not good for anyone. It may initially motivate you to take more responsibility with contraception - but if you carry on getting increasingly distressed, it will lead to the kind of suffering no one should go through.

You are distressed for two reasons - first because you are constantly remembering what you have done, and second because your family is constantly reminding you of what you have done. So first, have a heart to heart with your Mum and ask her to deal with things more wisely. Explain that constantly having a go won’t help you be more careful - it will just make you more paranoid.

Then, take yourself off to a counsellor - The British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists can help you find one - talk through the guilt and fear you are feeling, and put it all in the past. Yes, be more responsible in the future. But now, it’s time to forgive yourself. You’ve suffered enough.