After working most of my married life, I retired in 2003. Since then my husband has been awful to me - he continuously tells me I'm idle and that everything I've got came from him or his family. I'm so fed up of it - and counselling hasn't changed his behaviour at all. But I'm not sure I'm strong enough to manage on my own. It's such a difficult decision to make.

Susan advises
Facing the last third of your life can have a horrendous impact, bringing regrets about the past and fears about the future. And my guess is that though it's you who's retired, it's your husband who is suffering this late-life crisis. He is frightened, resentful and furious and, unfairly, he's taking that out on you.

You, of course, are also facing the last third of your life. And right now the future looks bleak. You look ahead to the thought of staying with this bullying man, who once loved you and whom you once loved, and it's terrifying. You look ahead to life alone and that too is terrifying. No wonder you feel bad.

Let me offer you a third alternative. You could decide how you yourself would ideally want to spend your remaining years. Then you could take set aside exactly twelve months to build resources, develop assertiveness, learn new skills and preparing for that life that you want to live. At the end of this time, it's quite possible that you will have learned to deal with your husband, and he will have realised he can't bully you.

If not, you will certainly have realised that you can very well cope on your own and that it's time to go.