AOL

For forty years I’ve had a very close male friend. We’ve always kept in touch and it’s felt as though we’re part of one another’s families. Along the way he’s had two failed marriages and I’ve had one, but now we’re both single - and so I’m starting to wonder whether I’m right to think of him as just a friend. I think if we’d got together when we were young we could have been soulmates. But is it too late now?

Susan advises
It’s never too late to love. But is it too late to love this particular man? Certainly all the signs are right - you are close, you have history, you care for each other. And it sounds as if you feel there could be something there.

So, only two questions remain to be sorted. First, are you actually compatible as lovers? Perhaps you’ve stayed friends all these years because the relationship wouldn’t work if you were partners. Perhaps there’s just no sexual attraction. Perhaps if you were living together fulltime, you’d be at each other’s throats. If you suspect that’s true, then let it go. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Second, how does this guy feel? Perhaps he doesn’t feel the same as you do, perhaps he would be happy just leaving it as friendship. If so, then however convinced you are, this one won’t work. Again, let it go.

But if you genuinely feel more for this guy than just friendship, I’d have a ‘where are we at?” conversation. If he returns your feelings, then I can see real hope that the two of you could be happy together. After all, you know each other inside out and you are the best of friends. What better foundation for a relationship could there be?