I've been with my partner for seven years. During that time we've faced hard times together - and always pulled through. But lately we seem to have been arguing and bickering constantly, about nothing really. I still love him and find him attractive and he says he feels the same about me - but I'm scared all the rows mean our relationship is coming to an end. I couldn't bear that!

Susan advises
The sort of 'out of the blue' bickering that you describe often comes down to a shift in the power balance. Perhaps up to now, one of you has made the decisions and the other one has simply said yes.

Over time - particularly if you met very young - the one who used to say yes has gained more confidence, become more sure of themselves, and is now fighting back.

If you are both flexible, this can resolve itself. It won't be easy - you have to let go of the way you used to behave and start talking things through, working things out together, coming to joint decisions. But in the end, you will have a much more equal - and much more mature - relationship.

If you aren't flexible - particularly if the person who has been in charge wants to hang on to the power - then you probably won't resolve this one. The previously more-in-charge partner will need to find someone who will say yes - the previously more-submissive partner will need to find someone who will take them seriously. That will be rough - but in the end you will both be happier.

Go to Relate and work with a counsellor who will help you explore what is happening and bring things to the best possible conclusion.