Recently I had a date with a man I met online. We got on well, but I don't know whether to see him again. Problem is, he's had two failed marriages and a failed long-term relationship - every time, he got cheated on. I'm worried that all this bad experience with have made him incapable of forging a solid relationship. On the other hand, he seems nice, kind and gentle - should I try and give him back his faith in women?

Susan advises
There's reason to be wary here - three failed long term relationships isn't the most optimistic love cv. But there's no reason to give up hope.

Sure, it's possible that this man is so traumatised by his previous partners that he ends up unable to really love you. Or - alternative possibility - he could be so difficult to live with that, like his previous partners, you end up being unable to love him. But it's far too early for you to judge that, to assess his true character, or to make a decision based just on his relationship history.

Instead, get to know him, see if you like what you see, allow affection to develop. You may find that he's changed - or that you can handle him. or that some skilled counselling can help the two of you rework his history and make your relationship a success.

On the other hand, you may slowly discover that you don't like what you see, that you completely understand why his previous three partners cheated and that if you stayed with him you would end up cheating too. If you get to that stage, then walk away. It's unfair on him - as well as on you - to carry on going if you know that by staying you will simply repeat the problems he's had in his life up to now.