For years I've had a bit of a thing for Mel Gibson, but over the last few months it's turned into an obsession. I can't stop thinking about him and spend hours on the internet every day looking up facts about him. I also mention him constantly, which is really starting to get to me. I have tried to calm down, as I know how sad this is, but it seems really difficult. How can I get back to normal?

Susan advises

What you're talking about here is obsessional thinking. You start thinking about something or somebody, and you simply can't stop.

But ironically, trying to stop makes the whole thing worse. Because the more you worry about the fact that you are thinking about Mel Gibson, the more you turn it all into a problem - and then the more you worry about it! (The same thing can happen to people who are on a diet or who are trying to stop smoking - the more they try not to think about food or cigarettes the more they end up thinking about them...)

The way forward here is to give yourself permission. Set aside an hour a day, maybe after you come home from work, and really indulge your thoughts. Think about Mel non-stop. Concentrate on him. Focus on him. Even if you don't feel like thinking about him, think about him. Whether or not you have something else to do, think about him. And then for the rest of the day, put your thoughts of him back in a box.

What might also help is to read Stop Obsessing!: How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions by Edna Foa and Reid Wilson.