There've always been rumours in my family that I wasn't my Dad's daughter though my Mum has always denied it. But about two years ago, I took a DNA test and sure enough - it's my uncle who's my real Dad. My sister is now my half sister, and my cousins are just half siblings. I feel so furious about it all - particularly with my Mum. But do you think I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill here?

Susan advises
You're absolutely not making a mountain out of a molehill. You're not only coping with the fact that your whole identity is different from what you thought it was. You're also coping with the fact that your mother lied to you. Anyone in your position would be deeply upset and angry.

So this is not something you should be trying to cope with alone. The fury you're feeling is something you should be talking through with a counsellor - both to let out the rage and to think through more calmly just how to cope. If you are based in Britain, you can find a local counsellor through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy; otherwise your GP will be able to refer you.

One thing which may help, though, is to realise that family bonds are not just about blood ties. If you've been close to your relatives, if they've helped you and cared for you, then that is just as important as anything a DNA test tells you. Even the lies your mother told were probably because she wanted to protect you.

In short, you may think that the fact your uncle is really your father changes everything. But it doesn't change the love that's been there all these years. Hold onto that.