AOL

I’m 65 and two years ago I got divorced. Since then, three of my close male friends have declared that they are in love with me - so much so that they are all willing to leave their wives to be with me! However, I’m not ready to settle down with anyone at the moment - and have told them all so. But I still feel under great emotional pressure. Do I have to break off these friendships or is there another way?

Susan advises
First stop and congratulate yourself. You’re 65, you’re divorced - and you have a queue of men wanting to give up everything for your sake! At an age and in a situation when many women are giving up hope, you know you are loved and wanted.

That said, the men who love and want you are not - as you know - the ones you love and want. For a start, you’re not ready for that, and more importantly you aren’t a marriage breaker. You have to deal with this tactfully but firmly.

I would, actually, put some distance between you and these men. Now that they have declared themselves, and even if you tell them you aren’t interested, they’ll keep hoping as long as you keep seeing them. Take a break of several months, and tell them clearly that this is so they have time to get over you, and time to put energy into their marriages. If at the end of that period they’ve got things into perspective, you can - very, very carefully - resume the friendship.

In the meantime, as you say, you can enjoy your freedom and - as by the sound of it you are a fascinating and charismatic woman - you can make more close friends. In the end, you will find someone whom you love and who is free to love you.