AOL

I’m half my husband's age - I’m in my twenties and he’s in his fifties. Everything was fine until we got married two years ago, then we stopped doing things together as a couple. If I suggest going out somewhere, he thinks I mean an old man pub - when actually I would love him to go clubbing with me. He’s very good looking and I really want to show him off, but he’s not interested. I want to make our marriage work, but I can’t stand much more of this.

Susan advises
Lots of generation gap marriages work, but it sounds like yours is hitting classic problems. Quite simply, you have very different ideas about life - and in particular, you have different ideas about marriage.

Your husband believed that once you were wed, you would settle down and do the sort of things that other married couples of his age do - go to the pub, sit quietly talking, concentrate on each other. You believed that when you were wed you’d carry on going clubbing together, as most of the couples of your generation do until the kids come along.

There’s nothing wrong with either viewpoint - they’re just different. And to bridge the gap, you both need communication, understanding and tolerance.

You need to sit down and - without rowing - try to appreciate each other’s points of view. You need to give a little - so you learn to be happy spending quiet time with him. He needs to give a little - to learn to put a bit more energy being with you. More flexibility all round is needed here or, as you say, your marriage is at risk.