AOL

I remember so clearly my first date with my man - and how he kissed me and held me tight. Little did I realise that 7 years later I'd still be waiting for him. Right now I hardly ever see him - he disappears for weeks at a time and never lets me visit. I want to move on, but I dont know what's happening. Is he still living with his Mum and that's why he won't let me call? Has he started to see his ex again and that's why he's not around? If I knew the truth, I could let go.

Susan advises

You're wrong. The only truth you need to know is that you're not number one in your man's life.

You tell yourself that if you knew what was really happening, you could get closer. But actually, the details are irrelevant - whether the thing with his Mum is an excuse (almost certainly), whether he's still with his ex (very possibly), whether he's found someone entirely new (very probably), The important issue is that he clearly doesn't want to be with you - and that means you need to draw a line and move on.

Yes, it's understandable that you want to cling. It hurts, after seven years, to accept that someone doesn't love you and that a relationship is not worthwhile. That's why you're keeping going on memories of the good times, why you're ignoring the obvious truth - and why you're telling yourself that you need information before you can get closure.

In fact, you have all the information you need. Dump this rogue now, work through the hurt - and get ready for a new relationship that will make you happy.