My mother died very recently and as I'm the only family member in the country, the funeral arrangements have fallen to me. However my boyfriend isn't coping with the situation at all well - he gave me a lecture about 'can't someone else do all this?' when actually all I wanted was a cuddle! Now he’s stopped calling me and seems almost angry when I do see him. I feel so abandoned - why can't he understand what I'm going through?

Susan advises
Crisis hits people in very different ways. And it could be that your boyfriend isn't coping with your bereavement because he can't cope with the idea of bereavement in general. Rather than hang on in there with a situation that makes him uncomfortable, he's simply backed off - and in order not to feel guilty about backing off, he’s blaming you for the whole thing, making it all your fault for getting involved.

If your relationship with him is short term, casual, simply a friendship that ended up in bed, I wouldn't fret. It would be lovely to have him there to support you, but you are clearly surviving without. Get your support from other friends and if necessary ring Cruse, the bereavement charity, on 0844 477 9400 or log on to www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk. Once you’re through the practicalities of the funeral, then you can maybe meet up for a drink and restart the friendship.

But if this is a serious relationship you're in, be wary. A partner who isn't emotionally capable of supporting you in a crisis isn't a good bet for commitment. I don’t want to suggest that - just at the time you are coping with the loss of your mother - you have to cope with the loss of your boyfriend. But I would think twice about getting involved with him again. You can do far better than this.