AOL

Last year my husband and I had a short separation. Luckily we sorted things out and are now back together. But I’ve just discovered that during the time we were living apart, he had a one night stand - and now she’s pregnant with what might be his child! He doesn’t think it is his, but I haven’t a clue how to react. Does this mean we should separate for good?

Susan advises
What this pregnancy means - for you and for your husband - is something you will have to work out over time. You need to find out for certain whether the baby is his - and if it is, work out exactly what role he will play the child’s life. And that will be hard.

But actually, that’s not the question you’re asking. You’re not worrying about the pregnancy so much as worrying about the actual act of sex. You’re wondering whether the fact that your husband slept with this woman means that he betrayed you and therefore you have to part.

I don’t think so. If a relationship seems truly over - as you and your husband thought your marriage was over - then sex on the rebound is not a betrayal. Your husband was probably suffering deeply, missing you dreadfully, and needed something and someone to help him get through the night. The fact that he acted on that doesn’t mean that he loved you any the less.

You should both go to counseling - not only to help you navigate the next few difficult months, but also to work out the problems that led to the separation in the first place. But you should also put the past aside and concentrate firmly on the future.