AOL

For fifteen years I've been best friends with an older man. Last year he told me that he loved me and wanted to get together. I agreed, but since then I've really struggled to think of him as a boyfriend. He's a great guy - my son loves him, I know I can trust him and he's happy to have more kids together, which is really important to me. But it still doesn't feel right - maybe because he's so much older. Help!

Susan advises
Partnership is never an easy option - it takes emotional strength and stamina to make things work, and even then, the majority of relationships fail. So frankly, I believe that you need everything going for you if you are to succeed.

I'm not saying be picky. I'm not saying set your sights too high. But all the reasons you are giving for staying with this man are logical reasons, sensible reasons - I don't hear you say that you feel strongly about him, I don't even hear you say that you want to be with him.

What you do say is that it doesn't feel right. And so I do wonder whether you will have the strength and stamina you're going to need long term.

What's stopping you leaving? I suspect it is that you feel guilty. He loves you, and you don't love him. You agreed to be with him and now you are thinking of leaving. But you have no need to feel guilty - you have given things a try and they haven't worked. Now, for both your sakes, you need to let him go - so that he can find someone who truly loves him and you can find someone you truly love.