AOL

I've been going out with my new man for five months now and generally it's lovely. There's just one big problem - every time I get even a tiny bit cross he retreats to his own house and gets into a deep depression. It's really starting to stress me out as I'm beginning to bottle things up to keep the peace. But what's making it worse is that I know he's going to propose next month - what on earth do I say?

Susan advises

You say no.

And why? Because there seems to be no place in your relationship for the normal human emotions of frustration, irritation and fury. I'm not saying couples should spend their whole time bickering. I am saying that it is natural to get annoyed sometimes - and as your partner can't handle even a tiny bit of that annoyance there is going to be trouble. In fact that trouble has already started - the two of you have already created a pattern of him 'retreating' and you 'bottling things up'.

Relationship studies show that it's not the couples that never feel angry who are happy and stable, but the ones who acknowledge their anger and put it on the table, cope with it, resolve the issue and move on. You and your man just aren't doing that. More, he isn't even addressing what is happening, let alone taking steps to solve it. In fact, he's so unaware of the issues that, after only six months, he's rushing into proposing to you.

What to do? Put the issues on the table - not as his problem alone but as a problem of your relationship - and suggest you both have counselling. But, bottom line, if he's not prepared to work on this one, then walk away.