When I met a lovely new man just over a year ago, I was delighted. We get on wonderfully, but there is one big problem. He has three children, who live with their mother - but he refuses to tell his kids about me. He knows this upsets me (in fact, we've nearly split up over it), but says that he's scared his children will reject him if they find out he's dating again. I don't think he's ever going to tell them - so should I walk away?

Susan advises
It's always tricky for a parent to tell children that they've found someone else; many rush into that far too soon, proclaiming their new love to their offspring after just a few months - and then having to admit that the relationship didn't work and that all the adapting to an alternative 'mum' was for nothing.

So if you and your man had been going out only a short while, I would be totally on his side about this. I would urge you to hold back until the two of you were sure that your partnership would last. But it's been over a year now, and if he isn't sure that you are the one he wants to make at least a short-term commitment to, then there is something wrong.

Is it something wrong with your relationship? Or is it that your man is too unsure of himself to admit his love for you and weather any storm with his kids? Either way, it doesn't sound as if the bond between you is as strong as it should be after this length of time.

I wouldn't necessarily walk away right now - but I would make it clear that you need him to have significantly more investment in your partnership in the very near future, or he is going to lose you.