I've recently got together with an older man. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and we'd even talked about starting a family together. But then, out of the blue, he became terrified of having any more kids and decided to have a vasectomy. Personally, I haven't decided yet whether I want children or not, but I feel so hurt he doesn't think I'm special enough to even consider having a family with. I don't want to challenge him though - he's already spoken of walking away so as not to spoil my chances of becoming a Mum.

Susan advises
Everything about this situation worries me. You and your older man have only recently got together, yet rather than waiting to see whether your relationship is solid, you're already talking about having a family.

Now he's panicking so much he wants to end that possibility for ever. And under the strain, your relationship seems to be folding. The whole thing seems far too much, far too soon, far too quickly.

So slow down on everything. Cancel the vasectomy. Make sure you are using foolproof contraception and protection. Go back to square one and start building your relationship. Find out about each other's personalities, values and life goals, Learn to communicate, to support each other, to work as a couple to make decisions that are right for both of you.

Give yourselves a year. If at the end of that time, you have built your trust and your commitment, then and only then start talking about whether you want a family.