My Dad and I were always very close. But in 2002 my brother died. Straight afterwards, my Dad and I supported each other, but recently he's started drifting away from me. He often doesn't answer calls and just seems to spend his whole time in the pub. Even though I'm 21 and a grown man now, I still want my Dad - I enjoy spending time with him, so it makes me really angry that he can't be bothered with me anymore. What can I do?

Susan advises
I don't think that your Dad can't be bothered with you any more. I think that - having supported you through the past few years of grief about your brother, and then having seen you grow from a little boy into a fine young man, he's started to allow himself some grieving time. He now knows that you are now no longer his responsibility, and that has given him space to mourn.

Sadly, however, he's not mourning in a constructive way. By the sound of it he's withdrawing, turning to drink, probably sinking into depression. It's not that he can't be bothered with you any more - it's that he's not able to summon the energy to reach out to you because he feels so bad.

So you must reach out to him. Don't just place calls, but go round there. Take him places. Spend time with him. Tell him you love him. Tell him it's your turn to support him as he grieves for your brother. Try to persuade him to get professional help - Cruse Bereavement Care can help - call them on 0844 477 9400.

As you say, you're grown up now, so it's time for you to 'parent' your Dad, as he parented you for so many years.