AOL

Ever since I can remember, my brother’s been terrible with money. He’s always in debt and spends anything that comes his way instantly - usually on complete rubbish. He’s always suggesting I invest in one of his harebrained schemes, but I’ve always managed to head him off. Now I’ve quite a lot of money as a prize in a competition and I’m scared to tell him as I’m sure he’ll badger me endlessly until I give him most of it. Would it be wrong of me to hide this from him?

Susan advises
No, I think it would be the right thing to hide your windfall from your brother. You have every right to keep your money to yourself, to save yourself from being hassled and to state clear boundaries in the way manage your finances. And if he attacks those boundaries by badgering you, you have every right to keep them firm by not giving him any occasion to cause hassle.

There’s another reason why it would be good not to confide in your brother. Because by telling him that you have a large amount of money available, you are putting temptation in his way and playing to his vulnerabilities. If he were an alcoholic, you’d realise that to offer him booze or to drink in his company would be unfair and cruel. In the same way, to tell him about your windfall would be unfair and cruel too.

So keep your secret from your brother. And if he finds out that’s what you’ve done? That would be a good opportunity to explain to him exactly why you did so, and exactly how annoying you find his behaviour.