When my boyfriend's best mate took his own life three months ago, we went to the funeral. The guy's girlfriend exchanged numbers with my man because she wants to keep in touch - but she now texts him several times a day and it's getting too much. I've told him only to text her every few weeks - he doesn't need to be in touch with her every day. But I wonder if I'm being unreasonable.

Susan advises
Sure, it must be getting irritating that this woman is texting so much. But you're treating this as a normal 'other woman hitting on my boyfriend' scenario. And you're wrong to do that.

Yes, this woman may be getting close to your man - but there are other, very understandable reasons why she keeps texting. She's been bereaved. She needs support. She wants to be close to someone who was close to her dead partner. It probably helps her to reminisce with him, to replay the times they all spent together. (And it probably helps your boyfriend to do this - remember, he's been bereaved as well).

So rather than pressuring your man into cutting off contact, instead think of how you and he together could offer support - taking her out, offering a shoulder to cry on. You could also suggest she contacts a bereavement counsellor or organisation. Treat this as a joint project and you'll not only safeguard your relationship - you'll also be helping her.

Remember finally that mourning takes a while and everyone runs to their own schedule - but that given enough support, most people get through it. In a few more months, this woman will get in touch less often. In a year, she probably won't call at all.