My husband's best friend has recently been through an awful divorce - his wife had an affair and then really took him to the cleaners. So, to cheer him up, my husband's invited him to ours for Christmas Day. When it was first suggested I agreed happily - it seemed like a nice thing to do. But now I'm having second thoughts. My husband and I get so little time together, that it would be great to have a romantic day just for the two of us. Am I being selfish?

Susan advises
You have to draw a distinction here between what you feel and what you do. It's absolutely understandable that you feel a bit resentful about your husband's best friend coming for Christmas. It's understandable to want your man to yourself and to want a romantic Christmas.

But... you've already agreed to invite this guy, and your husband has already issued the invitation. And it would be very cruel to cancel, at just a few days' notice, and let him spend Christmas alone.

So whatever you feel, I do think that you have to go through with it.

It's not all bad news, though. First, why not arrange for you and your husband to have a special day to yourselves, later in the week, where you do all the nice romantic things that you thought of doing? Second, you've now learned a valuable lesson - that you and your man need more time together - so start to action that. Plan some weekends away in 2008, and next Christmas make sure you keep yourselves to yourselves and invite no one else at all!