Five years ago I separated from my husband and he moved out. But then it became clear that both of us were struggling financially, so we decided to share the house again - and that's what we're still doing! Problem is, I'd love to move on with my life now and find a new relationship, but don't feel confident doing that with my living arrangements the way they are. My friends think I'm mad to stay, but I know I can't afford to move!

Susan advises
Originally, for both you and your husband, continuing to live together was a way of denying that you'd split up. Quite simply, you weren't ready to separate from each other - so you didn't separate, you stayed together.

But now you are ready to leave. And you're absolutely right to say that you can't leave emotionally until you leave literally. It's not a case of whether you move out - the longer you stay, the more trapped and resentful you will feel; it's a case of when and how to move out.

Yes, there will be financial challenges, but there are ways round these. You can sell the house and divide the cash. You can then rent a room until you get back on top money-wise. You can cut back your expenses to the bone. This will all be very hard, but not impossible; hundreds of thousands of people in your position - many of them with the added responsibility of children - do exactly this every year. If you want to be free badly enough, you will make it work.

And in the end, once you are truly free, you will be happier. You will have more energy, you will have more motivation. I'm not saying money will flood in but you will overall have many more resources. So I'm with your friends here - I think you can't afford to stay!