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Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and Sharon Marshall have had their fair share of life's little grenades. Now they've learned how to throw them back. To live the good life, it helps to be bad sometimes. So this is their take on big bottoms.

The bottom line is to remember not to stress about your bottom. Some people are lucky with them. Some people just aren't.

Take Tara for example. Some days she eats nothing but Lion bars and Calypso ice lollies. And she's never been over a size eight and never had a filling. Whereas Sharon has been on a diet for the last ten years, owns twelve exercise videos and once spent an entire week fasting in a Thailand spa with a hose up her bottom pumping in cold coffee. And her bottom has never been as small as a size eight.

But one thing Sharon has learnt - as a former size sixteen - is this. There are lots of fads out there. There's the caveman diet of one meal a day, the diet where you just eat coconuts, the Beverly Hills where you just eat fruit, or the one where you just eat raw food. These might all work if you're a megastar who can stay horizontal for most of the day. But a naughty girl needs her calories for mischief.

Forget the fads. If you just drink a little less, steam the odd vegetable and move your bum a little more you'll lose the weight if you want to. Not that naughty. But the results are nice.

And, like we say, don't worry because it's probably not your fault. Sharon's run a marathon. Tara's sat on her sofa stuffing her face with chocolate and watching telly. Sharon is still fatter than Tara. Sometimes life just sucks that way.

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- Of course, celebrities don't bother with any of this. They just get their stomachs stapled. Google Anne Diamond for more information.